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Shopping

While shopping for supplies for the girls today, I was a little overwhelmed with the choices in front of me. In 1972, when I was on the verge of puberty, there were no real choices in how to tend to one's period. There was Modess and there was Kotex, and that was about it. There was a very new innovation just in time for girls my age: self-stick pads. No more need for a belt or special underwear.

How different things are today. The dizzying array before me in the feminine protection aisle was a true reflection of our acceptance of menstruation as a normal part of life. We have commercials on prime-time TV, billboards, and more. Still, those things are discreet enough to never mention the word 'blood,' and to never actually explain the difference between all of those new and improved menstrual products. How is a girl supposed to figure all of this out? How do manufacturers expect to build brand loyalty if they don't talk about what their brand does, exactly, and who it is best suited for?

I came away with regular maxi pads, maxi pads with wings, long maxi pads, thin maxi pads, ultra-thin maxi pads, overnight maxi pads, maximum protection maxi pads, slender maxi pads, extra-dry maxi pads, compact/ultra-thin maxi pads, maxi pads with freshening wipes, Stayfree maxi pads, Kotex maxi pads, Always maxi pads, store brand maxi pads, jumbo-pack maxi pads, individually wrapped maxi pads, and five packages of Carefree panty liners. All unscented, but several with odor-absorbing, odor-neutralizing technology. It was a maxi pad buffet, and I sampled liberally on behalf of the girls. With any luck, my friends and I will be able to explain the differences between these products and give the girls some guidance in making choices for themselves.

My mother was so uncomfortable discussing this topic--mortified, actually--I didn't really know what was normal or what wasn't in terms of my period and how it felt and behaved. As I remembered this today, I stopped and picked up a couple of heating pads and several small bottles of ibuprofen. I also plan to put together a handout explaining basic yoga-type stretches that the girls can try when they feel crampy or irritable.

Since we're approaching this from a self-care and hygiene perspective, I also stocked up on lots of body wash in teen-girl-friendly scents (Very Berry Smoothie? Really?) and lots of antiperspirant.

I cannot imagine being in middle school or high school and not having access to these very personal items. The girls have been doing little jobs here and there to earn a bit of money to buy the things they need to take good care of themselves. Here's hoping they'll now have a better idea of what to choose and how to use it. The teen years are awkward enough.

(I found the photo of the feminine products via a Google image search. Thank you to the photographer who made it available via her Flickr account.)

Help a girl. Change the world. Ready--Go!

I invite you to share in a five-minute food-for-thought snack. You'll feel a sense of fullness you didn't expect. I encourage you to also click on the two orange links at the bottom of the presentation screen: About and Fact Sheet, as well as any other links that appear.

Go to http://www.girleffect.org/.

After the initial presentation, take a look at the "Learn, Change, Share" logo on the upper left side of the screen. Click on the words for more information and some insightful videos.

As a friend of a program that has a huge stake in the education of girls and women, I hope that you find inspiration in this short presentation.

The girls

(click photo to enlarge)
Tukano, Aziza,Madina, Hawa, Amina, Hawa, Arbay

Until now, readers of this blog may have felt that our cause has involved faceless girls who seem more like an abstract idea than real teens struggling to live in two cultures simultaneously. They are real, they do have faces, and they are not nameless.

These are faces of potential and hope. This is what beauty, intelligence, and a life of possibilites look like. These are the girls we're helping with this site.

It's Wonderful Being a Girl

When I was in the 6th grade, the nuns at my school herded the girls from our class into the auditorium. We didn't really know what they had in mind, but we knew it was going to be different and no boys were allowed.

The school nurse stood on the stage and told us we were going to learn about important changes our bodies were about to go through. Roll film.

(From the Journal of The American Academy of Pediatrics, Vol. 27, 1961)
It's Wonderful Being A Girl: 16 mm., color, sound, showing time 19 minutes. Produced in 1959 by Audio Productions Inc., for Personal Products Corporation, Milltown, N.J.
The purpose of this film is to encourage a healthful knowledge of the menstrual process and positive attitudes for girls who are just beginning to menstruate. On her 14th birthday, Linda Brown decides that it's wonderful to be a girl growing up, It's wonderful to have parties and dates, make new friendships, learn new skills, and develop your talents. It's wonderful to know about yourself, recognize your bodily changes, and understand what menstruation is and how to live with it happily.

This film story covers a year of Linda's life and shows how she arrives at these happy conclusions. She learns from her mother what to expect when menstruation occurs. She begins to scorn the old wives' tales she has heard and the superstitious attitudes she has seen. When she begins to menstruate, she finds that it need not hamper her in successfully meeting the challenges of everyday life.

At school a teacher's thorough explanation...provides Linda with the important facts about how she became the girl she is. Discussions in the class reveal that a girl's menstrual periods need not limit her activities.

This film is to be commended for its emphasis on the fact that menstruation is a perfectly normal process in the life of girls. It helps to create proper attitudes for girls who may have some problems in adjusting to menstruation, particularly in the beginning. The story is well developed and the film is effective because it closely approximates life situations for girls in this age group. Good mother-daughter and teacher-student relationships are demonstrated.

This film was actually produced by a division of Johnson & Johnson, and included prominent product placement. Still, it got the job done and the nuns were off the hook as far as discussing menstruation. After the film, a motherly lay teacher met with us and discussed hygiene and discretion--hey, it was 1972 and the first Tampax commercial was still many years away.

Product placement. Samples. We all got samples. Thick, bulky sanitary napkins--they were nothing like today's streamlined, multi-option, self-stick, individually wrapped, maxi-pads. In retrospect, I suppose the samples came along with renting the film.

Although my friends and I snickered at this whole episode for weeks, as an adult, I realize that we were fortunate that somebody took the time to take us through the facts of getting our period. We probably weren't really ready for what was ahead, but at least we had some idea of what to expect.

When I think about the African girls who are the daughters of the women I know, I feel like they are, culturally speaking, back in 1972. Nobody discusses the start of menstruation until it actually starts, and even after that, there's not much to be said. Television is full of commercials for tampons, maxi-pads, panty liners, Pamprin, and happy periods, yet for newcomers to our culture, this is an appalling breach of decency. Can you imagine trying to reconcile this paradox if you're a young refugee girl in America?

These girls have no way to get the supplies they need to manage monthly periods, their fathers control the money (so no asking there), and the moms aren't really current on this topic themselves. The host culture gives the message that having a period is just another bodily function and there's no need to let it impact day-to-day life. At home, it's an off-limits discussion. How does a girl ask for what she needs to fit in here, like a normal kid?

I propose this: A maxi-pad drive. There are many ways to handle distribution--that is not a problem at all. Bring on the pads and we'll take care of the rest.

Is this bizarre? Absolutely. Is it necessary? Without question.

For donation details and how-to, check the information in the sidebar.
--SM

The First Reply

This is exactly the response I am expecting from all of the manufacturers. I understand their point. They get a lot of requests, so they go for the big organizations, like the Red Cross, where they can maximize their giving and their PR exposure, as well. I haven't asked any of them for products--I only asked them to seriously consider expanding their charitable programs domestically. Hey, at least they wrote back!

Awareness is half the battle here, so please take time to write. The links to each manufacturer's contact form is in the left sidebar.

Thanks for your e-mail to Kimberly-Clark. We appreciate the opportunity to respond to your request.

Because our products and our company have become so well known over the years, we have been invited to assist in many fine programs and projects. Although we would certainly like to help, the volume of requests is simply too great to accommodate. We are sorry for any disappointment.

Thanks again for your interest in our products and for taking the time to contact us.

Lisa S.
Consumer Services
Kimberly-Clark Corp.

From Procter & Gamble:
We appreciate your taking the time to let us know how you feel. Please be assured I'm sharing all of your comments with our P&G Management Team.

Thanks again for writing!

P&G Team

Put your mind at ease

Did you feel a lot of anxiety when you started your period? OK, it's fair enough to say that most girls have anxiety about a lot of things in their early teens, but one thing that looms above all else is the start of menstruation. The girls I know feel anxious about two things in particular: the unpredictability of their period, and the worry about whether or not they are normal or fitting in as compared to their peers. For girls who are negotiating their way through adolesence in two cultures, the girl world seems particularly problematic.

As I set out to brush up on my knowledge of this topic, I was reminded about how frustrated I was about getting information about my period. I had been given the most basic facts: the movie, an accompanying booklet with illustrations, and not much else. My mother was far too embarrassed to tell me more. I remember her avoiding my questions with short answers that lacked substance. I wanted to know if I could use tampons. I wanted to know why my period came at such wildly erratic intervals. I worried that people would know I had my period and it embarrassed me. A lot. That was in the early 1970s, and I like to think that things have changed.

Some attitudes have changed and some have not. There is a lot more information--good information--available to girls and moms now. When I was a kid, there was no Internet, there was nothing in the school library, and most of what I learned came from Teen and Seventeen magazines. Online forums provide a venue where girls can educate themselves and let go of some that lip-chewing anxiety.

Some resources for you if you need them:

First periods, early teens, body changes, social considerations

• A mother's questions about her daughter's first period
• Questions from teen girls
• The facts, written in a friendly, accessible style for teens, from TeenHealth.
• From the teens' section of Discovery Health Channel's Website, another teen/preteen article about the nuts and bolts of the topic. This one actually mentions that at menarche, a girl's body is capable of becoming pregnant (gasp!). You may find during your own research that this little factoid is often absent from the larger discussion.
• More links, more info from About.com
• Children's Hospital has a really nice site for girls called the Center for Young Women's Health. This might be an appropriate site for parents and girls who feel uncomfortable discussing all things girlie.